What they died for...or...I KNEW it would be Jack!

So...we skipped blogging for an episode or so...the Losties have been busy but still committed to the show. I wont mention the Jacob/MIB episode except to say that I called it, I knew Jacob wasn't really all that good. Frankly, the scene where he was weaving a rug and asking his mother what she thought of it was enough to make me despise him forever...and poor smokey/MIB, imagine having your mother try to kill you and then have your brother actually do it.
I can summarize with the following equations:
Smokey x Troubled/genuinely conflicted = Person I want to sleep with.
Jacob x Oedipal issues/fratricide (rug weaving)= Douchebag I would enjoy breaking up with.

I'm not going to do a recap of the last episode, I'm only going to posit my major theory of the week and actually it will be my last theory so I hope I'm right. Here we go...
Does anyone else out there think that Desmond in the alternate timeline is actually the MIB/Smokey/Flocke? Maybe far-fetched but those of you who were paying attention to the last episode will note that at the end it was made clear that MIB/Smokey/Flocke was going to need Desmond in order to get off the island. This one detail doesn't back up my theory but what does back it up is that every time Desmond appears in the alternate timeline he has Smoke Monster music underscoring his entrance into a scene. We only ever hear that music when the Smoke Monster or Flocke appears, so it would be odd for Desmond to have that music if it wasn't a clue.

I knew it was going to be Jack, Psalm 23 and all that...still not sure what Ben's really up to though and I can't wait to find out what Desmond means by trying to get Locke to "Let go"...WTF?

So glad "the poor man's Tina Fey" Zoe was killed and Widmore too...bout time. What about Richard Alpert? Do you think he's dead? Will he come back?
Also, Eloise Hawking? I want to hear theories on the time witch...what do you think?
The Oceanic 7 are planning a big night for the finale...with cameo and special guest appreances by persons throughout the Lost watching Diaspora...I can't wait...the TV is ginormous...the times will be nice.

The Candidate...or...Don't watch this unless you have a stuffed animal to clutch

I can't really write about this episode...The Oceanic 7 had to take a break this week because some of us are in a play. It was really difficult to be away from our little family but I ended up being happy that I had to watch it alone because I wept like a wild baby....and no one wants to see me do that...I'm not one of those people who can "cry pretty". Next week uptown at the Hurt Locker hatch...with a gigantic TV maybe...all good.

dwall

LOST Tarot cards...ummm...awesome.

Thanks TM for sending!
dwall

Quantum Kissing...or...Every dude wants a crazy bitch

So...Libby's back. This was a nice episode, it's good to see Hurley get some. I'm not going to bother to mention the bucket o' chicken...we've all had those days...I wont lie I'm intrigued by the commercials for the KFC Double Down...but I'm not going to eat one...even if I do get stood up. I'm just mega-confused as to why a gabillionaire like Hurley is single...instead of chicken he could buy a bucket o' woman, right? Whatever, I was pleased to see him and Libby fulfill their destiny and pleased for the crazy bitches of the world...proving my long held notion that dudes DO in fact dig psycho women. The quantum kiss on the beach was good, Saggi got very excited at that moment.

Genius moment of the week goes to P-Rod who literally one second before Ilana got blown up said "I can't wait for that bitch to die!" Hurley got the bag of Jacob ash...maybe that's what's preventing all the air traffic in Europe?

Michael made his return to apologize for killing Libby and tell us that the whispers were the dead people on the island. 'Kay. Goodbye character that we don't really care about anymore...thanks for checking in and clearing up a minor mystery.

Richard, Ben and Miles took off for the plane to try and blow it up and

Hurley convinced everyone else to go to Flocke's camp after the dynamite incident.

At camp Flocke, Sawyer and Kate were pissed and wanted to go find Jin. Sayid came back with Desmond and Flocke dragged him out to the jungle where they had the convo about fear...Desmond doesn't have any...Flocke seems scared of Desmond...hence the flinging of Desmond into the well. Don't worry he's not Deadsmond.

Zombie Sayid is sooooo great...can I just say that?

Oh and did you see Kate's face light up when Jack walked in with his Survivor tiki torch? That's the face I made too...because I love him so much...and I think our babies would be attractive.

The biggest scream of the night was obviously the last scene where in the alternate timeline Desmond ploughs into Locke in his wheelchair...maybe Flocke/Smocke has already gotten off the island in this timeline and Desmond has to kill him? Don't know.

We were in the tiny greek's hatch this week "The Clown Car" and there were a ton of dumplings...and more wine than anybody could drink...we're going back next week to finish it off.

God, I love Tuesdays!

dwall

Desmond Hume and the Caduceus Coil

Poor Desmond. They used him as a lab rat, and no one likes a rat.

While I don't condone the use of human test subjects, there's actually some mind-blowing science stuff going on here. I for one friggin' love science stuff.

Let me break it down for you...

This week's episode featured a strange and remarkable device. It was basically two huge copper coils facing each other. Now it can be easily deduced that we are dealing with large amounts of electromagnetic energy. Why? Because the whole damn thing was made of wood (no metal), even the chair they made Des sit on. Also, remember they asked him if he had any metal on him like loose change (to which he had a delightfully quippy response). Another bit of evidence was from the screen that geo-physicist (who is the poor man's Tina Fey) was looking at: the bottom of the display were the letters "EMF" which clearly stand for ElectroMagnetic Field. As we know, there has been A LOT of electromagnetic activity on the island and Des already survived a huge dose of EM energy when the hatch blew.

So what in science's name is going on here?

Have you ever heard of a scientist by the name of Nikola Tesla? Probably not... they don't talk about him in school and there are a million conspiracy theories about why that is so... regardless, the guy was a freakin' genius. His theories were centuries ahead of his time. He is best known for his work with electromagnetism (!). One of his major projects was the wireless distribution of electricity. Imagine all your household devices were powered by this technology... no unsightly extension cords! He designed the Tesla Coil to do exactly that... and, come to think of it... TC's look very much like the pylons used to keep the MIB out... interesting. Wireless power technology is just now being developed (I actually have a version of this tech, a "power mat" that charges my phone and other such devices wirelessly, and guess what- there's magnets in it) and Tesla invented his coil in 1891! Some of his lesser known experiments, however, involved time-travel and other such radical science. There is a "story" (unsubstantiated of course) about Tesla being hit with a huge electromagnetic charge and found himself outside of his time frame reference, being able to see the immediate past, present, and future all at once. His assistant turned off the machine right away, seeing that Tesla had been hit by the charge, and Tesla returned to his time frame.

Now on to the Caduceus Coil, which I believe is the large copper coils we saw (or at least some version of it). Apparently, by running enough juice through the coil, you can transmit electromagnetic waves at super-luminal velocities (read: faster than light). According to Einstein's theories, when EM waves are pushed faster than light, you move backward in time!

So here's what I think happened...

Desmond was shot back through time, but not just any time- he got shot back into a parallel past. We've seen the whole parallel time line happening, in the time-line where the island was sunk into the ocean. So how is it that Desmond went back in time into a universe that is parallel to his own? Surprise: I have an answer...

First of all, time travel is confusing as hell, isn't it? When you start getting into time paradoxes it makes your brain explode. Don't worry the (multi)universe actually protects itself from these paradoxes. Thanks universe! Scientists have theorized that you cannot travel back in time in your own universe, but that when you do, you enter a parallel universe. This way you can't negate your existence by traveling back in time and killing your grandfather (why would you do that anyway, you jerk!). This opens the door on the multiple universe theory, which basically says that there are an infinite number of parallel exisitences, so that anything that can happen will happen.

See this is where those jerks who detonated the bomb on the hatch dig site went wrong. They obviously had no understanding of how time works. They thought that they could change their own universe with their actions in the past. Foolish hot people! Did you not know that you WERE ALREADY IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE AND ANY ACTION YOU TOOK WOULD NOT AFFECT THE UNIVERSE YOU CAME FROM!??? Sagittarius is amused by your naivete.

So.....

Desmond, therefore, has traveled back in time to a parallel universe created by the detonation of the nuclear bomb on the island. BAM. How do we know he went back and not just sideways? Well, in the parallel universe, we see all their lives just after flight 815 lands (instead of crashing on the island) and in the original universe we see the time loooooooong after the plane crashes.

Now I would please ask you all for your theories about the "time-witch" (thanks P Rod). How the hell does Eloise know what's going on with Des???? That is some sinister shit right there.

Let me know what you think, because it baffles me.

Well sorry to go all Faraday on you there, but I got really excited when science came back to Lost. Oh and for another interesting "parallel" look up "Faraday's law of induction" and see how it relates to Tesla and the Caduceus Coil.

Ciao for now... until next week!

-Sagittarius

Desmond's A Celtic Supporter...And So Can You!

Yay!!!! Desmond! I am relaxing my Italian soccer player hair rule for this week only in honor of Desmond...but ONLY because he's scottish....AND more importantly a supporter of the greatest football team the world has ever known Celtic F.C. ...'Mon the Hoops!
...I think Saggi is going to do a real post about this episode...but let it be known that this was the BEST EPISODE EVER!!!! Absolutely fucking amazing...I'm going to have to watch it again...because I was embarrassingly drunk...I apologize to the Oceanic 7 for the excessive number of "I love you's" that were said...i mean all of them.

dwall

Four toed hippo and other such abominations

Well, I must say I think that the nail was hit right on the head with the Pandora bit. As the curious and direct Sagittarius I will now offer up a steaming plate of fresh speculation for you to chew on.

The statue: Thought by many to be the Egyptian god Anubis, who is associated with the underworld, it turns out this four-toed creature is actually the demon-goddess Taweret. I know, I know, who the hell is that? Well, for those of you who are too lazy to do a wikipedia search: Taweret is associated with fertility and child bearing (go figure). The Egyptians believed she protects the pregnant mother from evil spirits. She does this with... dun dun dun, "magic knives." Hmm where have we seen those before. Remember all the pregnancy problems on the island? Yeah, seems like Taweret stopped doing her work. Lazy, lazy Taweret.

Now let's see how far we can run with this one... Taweret was both a goddess and a demon, so maybe that's the whole "my mother was crazy bit" comes in (from MIB). She was also believed to be the mother of Osiris. You know Osiris, as in "The Legend of Osiris"

Basically Osiris ruled over the world and made sure everything was cool. Then his brother got jealous...

"Yet there was trouble. Proud Set, noble Set, the brother of Osiris, he who defended the Sun Boat from Apep the Destroyer, was unsettled in his heart. He coveted the throne of Osiris. He coveted Isis. He coveted the power over the living world and he desired to take it from his brother. In his dark mind he conceived of a plot to kill Osiris and take all from him. He built a box and inscribed it with wicked magic that would chain anyone who entered it from escaping."

Hmmm, sounds familiar. Another interesting bit of the legend is that Osiris' spirit enters his wife Isis and she bears a son Horus, who is HIDDEN AWAY ON AN ISLAND "far away from the gaze of his uncle Set." Horus eventually defeats Set and casts him into the darkness.

So who is who??? Is Jacob more like Osiris or Set or Horus, and which one is Locke/smokey/MIB?

Another interesting comparison of these two, which DWAL touched on last week, is the whole Jacob/Esau link. Again a pair of brothers, In the bible Jacob the younger steals inheritance from Esau with the help of his mother(!) and the two spend the rest of their lives fighting. For what it's worth remember Jacob's ladder (the biblical Jacob saw this in a vision) . It stretched to heaven and represented the exiles of the Jewish people (exiles aka castaways maybe).

The story of Jacob in the bible also has ties to Egypt as Jacob's son Joseph brings the whole family (who become the twelve tribes) to Egypt.

Fun stuff, I know, but what does this mean for LOST?? In my humble opinion, these parallels are just influences on the story. How many stories in the history of human mythology do we have about jealous brothers, crazy mothers, and the dichotomy of good vs. evil? Well, a lot.

I think the strongest link here is to Egypt, especially with Richard sporting the "Eye of Horus" look.

Possibilities:

A) The island is some sort of mythical portal to the afterlife and Jacob and "Smokey McGee" are the gatekeepers.

B) The island is a prison for misbehaving immortals. Jacob and Smokey pass the time by competing over lost souls (get it) whom they devour to gain sustenance.

C) A combination of A and B

D) J.J Abrams: Oh wait you internet addicted idiots, all of this is a giant rotten red-herring and you suckers fell for the bait. Way to go. It's not mythological at all, it's all science related. I tricked you with giant Egyptian statues and magic daggers. Booya.

That's all for now... Can't wait for this week's episode! Potato salad at the Tree House hatch!

-Sagittarius